Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I am so used to being the "sickly one" (as my sister calls me sometimes). I have been in and out of doctor's offices since I was 16. I am used to the labels and the so called sympathy.
Not too long ago, my Mother was diagnosed with Cancer. This is so strange to me! Not that I own illness or anything. But, my Mother has always been a "go, go, go" kind of person. Always cleaning, always shopping, always doing something. She is up at 5 am and cleaning house by 7 am. It is very hard for me to imagine her ill.
She just had surgery to remove the tumor. She stayed with me 5 days. How odd it was to be the one saying "Should you be doing that?" and "Did you take your pills?" She already wants to do everything for herself and I had to chide her like a child a couple of times.
It's peculiar to find myself as the care giver and not the care taker. Although, I can say I know what it's like to have pains and to feel nauseous. I can be a bit empathic.
Still, I don't know if I like this role of having to worry about my Mom (and I do). She's back home and I find myself wondering if she has the sense to not climb up on the chair to reach something. Will she call us to help clean house or will she hurt herself vacuuming because she doesn't want to bother us? I'm not so sure her restlessness won't win out! Damn, this mothering stuff is hard!