Monday, July 31, 2006


I Got Holes In My Shoes

I wear Darco shoes. You know the kind that folks where after they have surgery...the blue shoes? Lately, it seems like I'm wearing them out like there is no tomorrow. I don't think I'm any more active than before. But, since I am walking the dog regularly now, I may be wearing them out on the sidewalk. I cringe at trying to find another pair of shoes that I can wear. I've got 1 pair of canvas sneakers, 1 pair of tennis shoes, and 2 pairs of orthopedic "special" shoes in the closet that I can't wear at all. Each is uncomfortable in it's own way. I really don't want to add another pair of shoes to the collection.

I had to laugh over the weekend. I was walking around the house when I noticed a very different noise coming from my right shoe. There was a click following me! When I turned the shoe over, it was almost cracked in half. I was very close to walking away with only half a shoe.

I got online quickly and ordered another pair. For now, I've got them glued with some packaging tape around them (Well, that stuff sticks to everything I don't want it to, so it must be good!) Sure hope they are here tomorrow. These are the only shoes I've got. I have a vision of walking around the corner and finding that I've left half my shoe in the gutter.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Role Reversal

Role Reversal

I am so used to being the "sickly one" (as my sister calls me sometimes). I have been in and out of doctor's offices since I was 16. I am used to the labels and the so called sympathy.

Not too long ago, my Mother was diagnosed with Cancer. This is so strange to me! Not that I own illness or anything. But, my Mother has always been a "go, go, go" kind of person. Always cleaning, always shopping, always doing something. She is up at 5 am and cleaning house by 7 am. It is very hard for me to imagine her ill.

She just had surgery to remove the tumor. She stayed with me 5 days. How odd it was to be the one saying "Should you be doing that?" and "Did you take your pills?" She already wants to do everything for herself and I had to chide her like a child a couple of times.

It's peculiar to find myself as the care giver and not the care taker. Although, I can say I know what it's like to have pains and to feel nauseous. I can be a bit empathic.

Still, I don't know if I like this role of having to worry about my Mom (and I do). She's back home and I find myself wondering if she has the sense to not climb up on the chair to reach something. Will she call us to help clean house or will she hurt herself vacuuming because she doesn't want to bother us? I'm not so sure her restlessness won't win out! Damn, this mothering stuff is hard!

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